Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
