After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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