where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
