It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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