Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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