oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
