found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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