dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
