so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
