after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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