I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
