my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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