this beer tastes like vomit already
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
