when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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