I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
