can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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