Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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