I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
