All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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