Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
