im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
