I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
