The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My liver just had a heart attack.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
