If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
