We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
