Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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