He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
