I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
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