I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
