I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
