p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
