plz talk dirty to me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
