i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
