i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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