Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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