I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
