Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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