your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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