i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
