Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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