Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
