i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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