i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
