RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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