my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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