Kiss
Puke
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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