Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
