How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
