He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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