apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
